Bush Ratings At All-Time Low

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/02/27/opinion/polls/main1350874.shtml

no surprise here.. Cheney at 18% approval

Bush Stand Up Routine....

http://www.wimp.com/bushcomedy/

it's hard to see but could this really be Dubya?

U.S. Envoy in Baghdad Says Iraq Is on Brink of Civil War

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/24/international/middleeast/24cnd-iraq.html?hp&ex=1140843600&en=119b44a89b20a6a6&ei=5094&partner=homepage

it seems like if all we wanted to do was incite civil war in Iraq, we could have done it with a couple of CIA agents and not a full scaled invasion costing thousands of lives.... nice job George. have fun cleaning up this mess.

Rd 1 Tucson - Whittaker fires 69 - tied for 24th

http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/players/Ron+Whittaker/1679/scorecard/2006/2

nice round Spaulding... keep it up

White House to Issue Own Katrina Report

WASHINGTON - The White House has announced it will issue it's own assessment of the government's response to the Hurricane in which they conclude that the storm was not as bad as first reported and that many of the people of the Gulf Coast region were being unreasonable in their criticisms of President Bush.

The 25,000 page document goes into great detail of the President's crises management ability and concludes that he acted with speed and precision when confronted with the prospects that Katrina would hit land as a category 5 hurricane.

"We had to break up the President's pizza party with local oil executives who were in Crawford to discuss the administration's energy policy", noted Homeland Security Secretary Jerkoff. "He also had a very important meeting with the local chapter of VFW and we weren't sure how he'd balance all his obligations. The President was a calming influence in what was otherwise total chaos."

When it became apparent that New Orleans would be ground zero for the largest hurricane in our nation's history, the President noted that FEMA should be armend with fresh water and canned goods.

"Hey, Brownie, In a couple of days, when things settle down, make sure those kind folks down there get plenty of water. some wolf brand chili would also be nice. when's the last time you had wolf brand chili? well that's been too long now hadn't it? he he he....."

Bush Unaware of Ports Deal Before Approval

By TED BRIDIS Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush was unaware of the pending sale of shipping operations at six major U.S. seaports to a state-owned business in the United Arab Emirates until the deal already had been approved by his administration, the White House said Wednesday.

"He became aware of it over the last several days," McClellan said. Asked if Bush did not know about it until it was a done deal, McClellan said, "That's correct." He said the matter did not rise to the presidential level, but went through a congressionally-mandated review process and was determined not to pose a national security threat

"The president made sure to check with all the Cabinet secretaries that are part of this process, or whose agencies or departments are part of this process," the spokesman said. "He made sure to check with them - even after this got more attention in the press, to make sure that they were comfortable with the decision that was made."

Bush and Cheney, both fishing of the banks of the Potomac in their overalls, were not available for consultation by administration officials so staff simply ok'd the deal. When asked about the discretion of his staff, Bush responded, "hey man, trust me. we got it all under control and we know what's best for the Amerrrican people."

Mr Baber (pronounced Babaarrr) calls for special session

"now, boys, i got a problem with this kwanzaa extension. i don't know about you, but, i'm cut off at midnight on mardi gras, that's fat tuesday for you non-christians. hey baby, it's 40 days of repenting and self-cleansing. i suggest you all do the same for the good of all our souls and for the good of kwanzaa. i don't know what the mayor has up his sleeves but it's giving me a bad feeling. what happens if the hogs lose? will you then be looking towards spring training and your worthless yankees? i mean where does it stop? somebody has to draw the line. i say we cease all kwanzaa festivities at midnight fat tuesday. who's with me?"

Mayor of Dookieville, "Hogs victory over Gators offers renewed optimism"

in the waning seconds of the 2nd half, the hogs were given ample opportunity to give the game away. missed free throws, turnovers, stupid fouls and bad luck were not enough to supress the hogs will to pull out a victory. with seconds left on the clock and the game's final result in the balance, superstar Ron Brewer made a crucial steal in the gators backcourt to seal their fate. the victory was not lost on mr mayor as he used the renewed sense of optimism to shore up his base for one final push into march madness, "now hear this, it was a big victory for our ballclub and our players. they really stepped up and gave the fans a taste of old school hog ball. i see no reason why we shouldn't win out, sweep the sec tournament and move on to the field of 64. i have been saying all year this was the best team in the SEC. if there are no objections, i move we extend Kwanzaa for another, say, 6 weeks, until the end of march. we must carry on. we cannot walk alone, we cannot turn back. now let's call those hogs. whoooo pig, sooieee.. whooo pig sooiee... whooo pig sooieee, razorbacks.... go hogs.

now can wally hall go fuck himself and can somebody get me a budweiser? it's tourny time...."

Character Zero chimes in

"listen you fools. they're screwed no matter what they do. they can't even wipe their own ass without Frank's permission. it's a damn conspiracy and we should just forget basketball and blow up the place."

mayor of dookieville calls for unwaivering support

"now hear this, i don't want everyone to get down on the hogs just yet. the season isn't over. we must support our hogs. go hogs. go hogs. go hogs. whoooo pig!!!!"

apparently mr mayor drew some skepticism from his own security detail who was seen drinking budweisers and heckling the mayor to the point where the exchange became quite heated.

the next game will be this Sat v the 10th ranked Gators. should be interesting.. stay tuned

Hogs break Ole Miss losing streak

Oxford - Just when it was time to get excited about March madness, the Hogs are again self-destructing towards the end of the season as Stan's boys are playing without the intensity required of a post season basketball team. I hate to get down on the boys but it seems like we don't really have anyone to step up and take command of the team when we are down the stretch.
Rick Schaeffer, of course, blamed bad officiating and bad luck, but we have to face the fact that this isn't 40 minutes of hell or hard charging Eddie Sutton ball. this is Stan "play not to lose, i don't want the ball", Heath ball... i hate to be such a downer but basketball is my sport and i used to cherish this time of year when Hogs were manning up and thumping other teams. no one wanted to play Arkansas down the stretch for our tenacious defense and inside play coupled with some pure perimeter shooting was enough to keep any coach up at night. no we are welcomed in any gym in February. i feel like a fan of the Washington Generals....

Willie Nelson Releases Gay Cowboy Song

and big Dick Cheney quickly downloads on his itunes....

i can hear him singing it now.. "Cowboys Are Frequently, Secretly (Fond of Each Other) and as always, Fond of George and ME!!!"

Genzyme posts 4th-qtr profit as drug sales rise

BOSTON, Feb 15 (Reuters) - Genzyme Corp. on Wednesday posted a fourth-quarter profit compared with a loss a year ago, when it took a large charge related to an acquisition.
The Cambridge, Massachusetts-based biotechnology company reported a net profit of $106.6 million, or 39 cents a share, compared with a net loss of $157.3 million, or 68 cents a share, a year ago


good job, momma.. doing your part to keep American kidneys clean

Iran Plays Growing Role in Iraq

Yesterday Syria transferred all dollar denominated assets to Euro denominated assets.. Iran (who did that same thing a week or so ago) looks to be running the politics in Iraq w/Shiites in charge. i smell an invasion.
looking at the map, i'd say that US troops are potential sitting ducks.. Iran invades from the east, Syria invades from the north, hamas comes along for the ride and you have one gigantic jihad... bin laden can sit back and watch it all on tv.. we've done all his heavy lifting for him

U.S. and Israelis Are Said to Talk of Hamas Ouster

www.nytimes.com

JERUSALEM, Feb. 13 — The United States and Israel are discussing ways to destabilize the Palestinian government so that newly elected Hamas officials will fail and elections will be called again, according to Israeli officials and Western diplomats.

The intention is to starve the Palestinian Authority of money and international connections to the point where, some months from now, its president, Mahmoud Abbas, is compelled to call a new election. The hope is that Palestinians will be so unhappy with life under Hamas that they will return to office a reformed and chastened Fatah movement.

Here's an idea.. let's starve the people to the point where they get so desperate they will have no other choice but to see our side of things. now that's affective foreign policy. What do you think Condi? it's worked great in other areas of the Middle East.

sounds good to me Mr. President. Once the Palestinians haven't eaten in a couple of months they will surely call for a new election that we will no doubt be able to influence this time.. i don't know how that last one got away from us. can you pass the popcorn?



uhhh...... Why do you think young men join terrorist organizations in the first place? Here's a guess, they are starving, desperate and pissed off at Christians and Jews...

Sutton cited with DUI, will not coach for rest of season

TULSA, Okla. (AP) -- Eddie Sutton was cited with driving under the influence after he was injured in a car accident, and the Oklahoma State basketball coach will take a medical leave for the rest of the season.
Friday's accident in Stillwater, along with chronic back and hip pain, prompted the 69-year-old coach's decision, the school said Monday. Sean Sutton, his son and head-coach designate, will finish this season as coach. Oklahoma State was home Monday night against Kansas. The university said no decision has been made on who will coach next season.

How about Stan Heath?

Kwanzaa update - Men's Curling

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/torino2006/curling

don't count out those curlers....

Audits Show Millions in Katrina Aid Wasted

http://news.yahoo.com/

..... 5 days later
he he he... Jerkoff, Brownie, we kinda fucked up.. i know you guys are doing the best you can but we need a little PR kickstart.
let's start cutting checks. put everyone up at the Four Season's, champaign for everyone.
first round is on us..


is anybody in charge?

Google - deja vu all over again?

http://biz.yahoo.com/rb/060212/google_stock.html?.v=1

Google was far and away the most actively traded stock by dollar amount last week on all US exchanges, down -18.95% on $25 billion in activity on the week. the next closest was Apple, d0wn 4.54% on $15 billion. as a comparison, Exxon Mobile was the most actively traded stock on the NYSE and was down 1.64% but on $6 billion in total weekly volume. that's insane.....

Chertoff or Jerkoff?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/11/AR2006021101409.html

are all of these guys incompetent?

U.S trade deficit balloons 17.5%

http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/060211/economy.html?.v=2

And the year's $201.6 billion deficit with China, the largest ever recorded with a single country, brought demands for a crackdown on what the U.S. sees as unfair trade practices.

I've got an idea, let's start a trade war with China, hell why not the whole damn Pacific Rim. No problem, devalue the dollar and slap them with some tariffs

One problem sir, they own half our debt... the debt we used to finance all those imports from China.

is this a chinese handcuff?

On Brad Setser's blog through the RGE Monitor:
The US spent almost exactly as much on imports from China - 243.46b - as on imports of petroleum -- $243.18b (using the raw data). But oil imports did grow just a bit faster than imports from China. US imports from China increased by 23.8% in 2005.
http://www.rgemonitor.com/blog/setser/117055

do you think if it was switched and China had the oil and Arab countries had the cheap manufacturing we would have invaded China instead of Iraq?

man that's deep Mr President...

Whittaker - MC after shooting another par

http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/players/Ron+Whittaker/1679/scorecard/2006/5

it's ok Ron Ron, we are all supporting your efforts.. keep up the good work

Kwan Says She May Withdraw if Not Healthy

TURIN, Italy - Michelle Kwan' name might be out of the Olympics before she ever starts. Kwan cut short her first practice because of a sore groin Saturday and left open the possibility of withdrawing from the Winter Games if she's not 100 percent healthy.

i like the sore groin story and all, but really, who gives a shit....

Doctors Remove Part of Sharon's Intestine

JERUSALEM - Doctors removed nearly 2 feet of
Ariel Sharon's severely damaged large intestine during emergency surgery Saturday, but there was no immediate threat to the comatose prime minister's life, a hospital official said.

except of course that he is still comatose...

just in time for Fat Tuesday

hey padre, did you hear the one about the jew, the catholic and the colored boy?

Mr. Baber (pronounced Babaarrrr) has submitted a resolution to Mr. Mayor

it's called the don't fuck with me law. "you guys can say whatever you want. innuendo, lies, bitch about sports, communist propaganda, whatever. just keep it off of me. you got that? i'm clean as a whistle and i want to keep it that way."

Mr. Baber went on to request the Mayor to bypass the legislative body and go ahead and sign the bill. "you don't need their approval, just sign it. we're at war, goddammit. you can do whatever you want."

when asked for comment, Daniel Webster, attorney for the republic of Dookieville, stated "i think Baber (pronounced Babaarrrr) has some legitimate concerns. we all do. now do we need to write legislation? that's another matter. we should be focusing on important matters like the extension of kwanzaa and the recent hike in the price of budweiser."

to be continued......

Republicans calling Bush's Bullshit

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/02/11/politics/11wilson.html?hp&ex=1139720400&en=59377f03d7233550&ei=5094&partner=homepage

appreciate it, thanks.. it's kinda important since the Constitution is at stake. i mean, it's only the backbone of our democracy.

you guys think the Democrats will stand up? not likely. it's an election year and the Dems will likely err on the side of bitching and complaining but no real action.

We are at the mercy of a few ethical Republicans. i can't believe i said it

Round 1 Pebble Beach - Whittaker shoots even par

http://sports.yahoo.com/golf/pga/players/Ron+Whittaker/1679/scorecard/2006/5

Bush's Nomination of Warsh to Fed Draws Criticism and Confusion

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=10000087&sid=a76b9kj07yPM

one of his bike riding buddies.. he he he he... "come on Kevin baby, lower those rates, drive up those oil prices, momma needs a new pair of shoes..."

White House Knew of Levee's Failure on Night of Storm

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, Bush administration officials said they had been caught by surprise when they were told on Tuesday, Aug. 30, that a levee had broken, allowing floodwaters to engulf New Orleans.

But Congressional investigators have now learned that an eyewitness account of the flooding from a federal emergency official reached the Homeland Security Department's headquarters starting at 9:27 p.m. the day before, and the White House itself at midnight.

President Bush was resting comfortably at his ranch in Crawford as thousands of people along the Gulf Coast were clinging to their lives as the winds and water invaded their homes. The apocalypse was near, yet, the President had to focus on his task at hand; the VFW speech in San Diego. It was vital to protecting the Homeland, thought Bush.

Thank you, Mr. President for standing tall in times of crises.

bad mojo comes back to haunt the cynic

For those of you that missed it, bad mojo was surrounding the cynic last night as his dumbass tossed his quart of beer (top closed) into the blazing fire. the little beer and backwash that was left boiled up to create a ticking molotov cocktail. the explosion could have really injured those surrounding the fire and they are lucky to be alive. as one observer noted, "now we know what it's like to be in Iraq".
the cynic escaped with some small nicks and his wife was not pissed. hopefully the other observers were equally as fortunate....

this is another reason the cynic is only allowed to drink out of a can... demerits have been issued.

Bush Details 2002 al-Qaida plot on LA

"Today, President Bush gave new details about a purported 2002 terrorist plan to use shoe bombs to blow open the cockpit door of a commercial jetliner, take control of the plane and crash it into a building in Los Angeles. "


"Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa said Thursday he was blindsided by President Bush's announcement of new details on a purported 2002 hijacking plot aimed at a downtown skyscraper, and described communication with the White House as "nonexistent."

is the President just thinking of that episode of "24" - he he he, that Jack Bauer is a great American... American i said..

Bush and Rice condemn violence

did you guys see this?
i read while on the shitter (the only time i get to see our miserable excuse for a paper)

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice accused Iran and Syria of trying to "inflame sentiments" across the Muslim world.... - that's our job "hey you can't do that to our pledges, only we can do that to our pledges"

Bush urged foreign leaders to halt the spreading of violence and to protect diplomats in besieged embassies. "We reject violence as a way to express discontent with what may be printed in a free press, " said the President. - we, however, condone spreading of violence when it comes to protecting our oil assets... carpet bombing anyone? i love the smell of napalm in the morning...

what do you think there mr. mayor? could we pass a law to give you power to spread violence and trash the constitution of dookieville?
-the cynic

return of the Long Bond

FYI

Treasury just auctioned the first 30YR bond since 2001 – kind of a milestone
Bond was trading at 5.57% on “when issued” basis before auction, came at 5.53%, traded down to 5.50% on the strong demand…
Foreign central banks took down half the issue

the 2YR is trading at 4.63%
pretty screwy if you ask me.. it’s cheaper for the government to borrow money for 30 years than it is for a bank to borrow overnight..

Why would Asia finance our exploding entitlement and war liabilties? my bet is we continue to print money inflating the currency. you'll have plenty of dollars to retire on, the problem is that it might take $1,000 to buy a loaf of bread. your advil will cost about $10,000...

-the cynic

bizarro world

DeLay Rejoins House Appropriations Committee?
who are these people?

I felt this way after the election:
Do you ever feel like you live in bizarro world where everything you believe and think is totally opposite of what we think is normal?

democrats
economy
katrina
wiretapping
constitution

One big trick fuck after another..

-the cynic